Rules for the Cat

1. The cat is not allowed on the furniture.
   
   Alright, the cat can go on the furniture, but NOT the kitchen counter.
   
   Fine…The cat can go wherever it wants, whenever it wants, as long as it doesn’t swat me in the face at 5:30 in the morning demanding to be fed
   
   
2. The cat will be fed at 5:30 in the morning.
   
   
3. The cat will not pounce on me to wake me up at 3:30 in the morning.
   
   OK, the cat can pounch on me at 3:30 in the morning because it wants to be petted and scratched right NOW. In that case I give up, I am just plain screwed.