Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbors and said, "If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?"

"Not I," said the cow.

"Not I," said the duck.

"Not I," said the pig.

"Not I," said the goose.

"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did. The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.

"I might hurt myself and need worker's compensation," said the cow.

"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the duck.

"I'd lose my seniority," said the pig.

"I'd lose my unemployment," said the goose.

"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did. At last it came time to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake the bread?" asked the little red hen.

"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.

"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.

"Out of my classification," said the pig.

"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.

"Then I will," said the little red hen. She baked five loaves and held them up for her neighbors to see. They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share, but the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."

"Excess profits," cried the cow.

"Capitalist leech!" screamed the duck.

The pig just grunted and grunted.

"I demand equal rights!" yelled the goose.

They painted "unfair" picket signs and marched round and round the little red hen shouting obscenities.

When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen,"You must not be greedy."

"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.

"Exactly," said the agent. "That's the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as they want, but under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide their product with the idle."

And so they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, I am grateful."

But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked bread.